Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Gang Stalking and Other TI Experiences

If you've never experienced gang-stalking, I'm envious! It is a tactic designed to drive the average person mad by there being a constant commentary on every aspect of self and lifestyle. Many people don't believe it happens or don't believe the usual explanation of HOW it happens (e.g., paid actors). 

My experience so far tells me that it is the result of a mix of both intentionally planted individuals who know their job mixed with other TI's how are behaving just as robotically as I am. 

I'll give you three examples that are difficult to explain away as mere coincidence. The worst of it usually happens when I'm shopping at the only game in town (Wal-Mart).

One day whilst going through the store I noticed my anxiety rising rapidly to the point of a panic attack. Other people around me had been getting into my personal space and/or staring and scowling as I walked through the store. 

Right as I was about to bust I noticed a young man and woman quickly dart into the shoe section out of my site. The next thing I heard was the man say, in a very flamboyant voice, "I'm having a flash baaaaack!!!"

In a separate incident, I had noticed my local oldies station playing Prince's "Raspberry Beret" a few days before. This is called priming a stimulus. I'm already trained to think of anal sex when I hear the lyric "She went in through the out door".

So what happens next?  I'm going in through the in door at Wal-Mart when I recognize a past perpetrator going out through the in door. She turned and accused ME of going "in through the out door". I couldn't help myself that time. I turned and said something to her.

Third incident..I'd just woken up thinking about how my handler always said her method with me was to assault me anally (sorry, only word that's accurate) and then have someone else perform oral afterwards. She calls it "head butting".   An hour or two after thinking about this, I'm back at Wal-Mart. A young woman and her mother stop alongside me as the young woman loudly complains about her "head ache".  She says "I have a major HEAD ache, BUT(T) what can I do? I'm in Wal-Mart."

I wanted to turn around and tell her one thing she could do is not announce her issues within a 3 mile radius of total strangers, but figured she was totally innocent in what she was saying. That's one case where I think another TI was in place to trigger something we share in common. 

The question that's always on my mind is....do people know my every movement or am I simply showing up at an exact place at an exact date and time that I was already programmed to years ago? I often feel it's the latter rather than the former. The reason is that it seems difficult to me to explain the tracking without going off the deep end. 

I do have memories of people injecting me with syringes and chip guns and telling me they were putting a chip in my forearm. The problem is that I don't believe them. I feel like it's BS designed to make me paranoid about something that has a much simpler explanation. However, I'm also willing to be proven wrong. If it were as simple as an RFID chip, that would be a miracle. Take it out and no one knows where I am? Great!

But the other thing about targeting if you've been through a trauma based program is that your whole life has been planned for you in a one thing leads to another fashion from birth. It's like a race to get past them in developmental terms. If they are there influencing things like your 16th birthday, your high school graduation, where you go to college, your first job, etc, they pretty much have total control over your path. 

For instance, at my first ever real job my manager was a woman who was forced to perpetrate against me in the past. We didn't recognize each other on the conscious level but the issue certainly played itself out on the subconscious level and I didn't last long at that job.   This has been the case everywhere I've worked. One set of perps leads to another (and another job) whether the forgiveness is there or not. 

All of this is hard on the survivor because the goal is total freedom, not to repeatedly swim in a pool of bad memories in every area of life. It gives the impression that the past has encircled you, is all around you and inescapable. 

What the bulk of us really need is some power, money and respect but that's a whole separate topic! This is just a stream of consciousness post on this subject so I'll end here. Y'all stay safe!

Friday, June 3, 2016

Off the Cuff

I have no idea what I'm watching right now. It's some mid-day show called 'FabLife'. The studio audience is mostly female and it looks like they are cheering for some new type of blender. At the bottom of the screen, though, I see a Twitter hashtag: #offthecuff. I decided I would use that as the title for this post for a couple of reasons.

First, I'd been watching clips from Orange Is the New Black and feeling nervous about the disproportionate number of LGBTQ people portrayed as being prison inmates. Second, I just wiped out the first three posts I ever put on this blog because they seemed to express a lot of anger. I worry about how oppression and anger tie in to each other and, in some cases, do lead to LGBT people ending up in prison. I don't want to go there, so I'm taking off the cuffs and writing an off-the-cuff post.

As we go through what is admittedly a crazy election cycle, with trans rights and trans issues in the public spotlight more than ever, I have started thinking again of Martin Luther King Jr's nonviolent resistance approach to social change. At the heart of that approach, it seems that the key is in exposing your opponent's dark side. If I sit peacefully to make my point and you, as the opponent, come over and start physically hurting me, you make yourself look bad and, in so doing, undermine your own argument - especially if the basis of your argument originates from some fantasy of superiority.  You can't claim to be reasonable, kind and loving, for example, while also beating another human being half to death. The rest of the thinking public sees this and says "I don't care if I was on the fence about this before, we're all human and that behavior is not right."

It seems like we are slowly but surely making progress on trans rights issues. The only thing that worries me is how much more vocal and threatening the opposition has become. People will say and do things so egregious that there almost isn't words for the behavior, and I get the feeling that they do this to see if we will react in kind and do something violent in response.

Personally, I don't intend to let them win. Instead, I hope I can change some people's minds by setting an example. If you can find a person open-minded enough to listen to your story, you might be able to chill their hate speech by rendering them speechless. I think that approach is probably what is going to change a lot of people's minds. Until then, it is going to feel a lot like arguing with an artificial intelligence or a scene from Idiocracy. "Why does Brawndo have what plants crave? Because Brawndo has electrolytes, and that's what plants crave."   Stay strong and good luck!